Alice found herself in a tricky situation while travelling Asia.
SOMETIMES, we can get ourselves into trouble while travelling. Things can happen that we most certainly didn’t plan and then we need help.
Becoming pregnant while travelling isn’t on everyone’s bucket list. It wasn’t on mine and still isn’t ... but I’ve been there. It happened to me. I made the decision to have an abortion. Being a solo female traveller in a country which isn’t my home and not having anyone with me: It was tough.
This is my story.
I found out I could be pregnant over a bowl of noodles. I was eating with a French woman I’d met earlier that day and was eagerly tucking into my second helping. As I shoved the long threads into my mouth she exclaimed, “Are you eating for two or something?”
Part of me thought she was super slim and I was just shamelessly eating but when I got back to my hostel that night, I realised I was late.
At the time, I was soaring through the north of Thailand on a motorbike. I wasn’t too concerned and told myself that travelling was just throwing my cycle off and to not worry about it. A couple of days later I went to eat noodles again in another town.
Joy quickly turned to sadness.
This time, for some reason, no one would serve me. I was the only white person there, my Thai was pretty much non-existent and people just looked right through me. I got upset. Really upset. I just cried and cried on the pavement until a local man saw me and demanded a seller feed me the noodles. What was always easy while travelling was suddenly getting harder.
I drove through the north for the rest of the week. My back hurt. I kept switching between telling myself that it was period cramps and then that I was pregnant. I was a volatile yoyo and began driving faster out of pure frustration and fear.
I went to temples a lot. I prayed and begged like a broken record that I would be OK. Me and Buddha were good friends that week.
Travelling solo has it challenges.
I finally got close to a place where I could buy a pregnancy test. I took it and the cold truth was revealed. I can’t really say how I felt. In fact, I felt nothing. I just instantly went into robot mode.
I have never wanted children — I tell people that I’m too selfish to have children. I want to be travelling until I can’t. It’s hard enough trying to travel with a boyfriend (if I ever meet him), let alone a child. It sounds crazy to say it but it pained me that I couldn’t take my planned flight to Myanmar: There were no abortion services there.
Instead, I told the father, researched my options and booked a flight to Cambodia, Siem Reap. I made an appointment with an international reproductive healthcare organisation and holed myself up in a hotel feeling horribly sorry. I had to have an ultrasound and hear the nurse ‘congratulate’ me.
I opted for a medical abortion as I was only three weeks pregnant. I swallowed those pills and just waited. I had heard horror stories of the process being extremely painful but it wasn’t.
Alice carried on as normal, exploring the temple ruins in Siem Reap, Cambodia the day after visiting the clinic.
Then I just kept on going. I toured all the temples, carried on around the country for a month on a motorbike, headed to Vietnam for three months. I didn’t regret my decision, I was absolutely relieved but it was incredibly hard nonetheless.
I would wake up and realise that I could be pregnant but wasn’t. It really hit me in Vietnam about two months later what had actually happened. Eventually, after a year, I couldn’t do it any more and had to go back to England for some respite.
When I did tell people what had happened, the response was, unfortunately, pretty negative. People couldn’t understand: “You must have caught something” / “How could you do that to yourself?” / “You’re stupid” / “You weren’t careful at all”.
Men, in particular, were not empathetic. Part of me gets it. It’s a difficult thing to respond to someone who tells you they were pregnant but decided to have an abortion. People just don’t talk about it enough.
That’s why I wanted to write this post and give as much information as possible if you find yourself in a similar situation. Do what is right for you and make the most of the support that is available.
WHERE TO GET AN ABORTION IN ASIA
I have put together abortion options in every country in Asia on my site. Use the search box to find your country. This resource includes countries which are considered to be a part of Asia and Europe. All information is current up until May 2015 and will be updated regularly.
Here are some of the options.
WHAT ARE THE BEST ABORTION SERVICES IN ASIA?
• Marie Stopes
I don’t know what I would have done without these guys. They provide a full range of quality reproductive and sexual health services. They provide access to safe abortion services where it’s legal, and post-abortion care.
• Women on Waves
The most comprehensive, amazing website ever. They have a safe online medical abortion service and abortion information for each country. They helped me immensely with this post. Women on Waves, you rock.
• Women on Web
A sister organisation of Women on Waves. Another comprehensive and amazing website which can help you get abortion pills online. It is an excellent source of support and information. Yet again, they rock.
CAN I TALK TO ANYONE?
A time like this is incredibly difficult, regardless of whether you are sure about your decision or not. Sharing this situation with others can help you think, plan, manage and feel supported. This may be your best friend, your mother or a supportive phone call to an organisation. If you want to get in touch and talk things through, these guys can help. If you don’t want to talk, that’s totally OK too. Do what you feel is best.
Alice is a 31-year-old traveller from the UK. For more information visit her site TeaCakeTravels.com.
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